i am on my first date with james b. duke. i have a feeling that this will not be a serious relationship.

speaking of relationships, i am no good at them. the longer i am in them (whether they be romantic or otherwise) i see more effects of the Fall, more recently in my selfishness. i do not want to talk at 11:30 at night when i have a headache and am already in bed. i do not want to spend time calling when i know that i could be spending time sleeping or doing other things. i do not want to put myself out there by being honest. i do not want to put the effort in to communicate. sadly, all those feelings also translate to my relationship with God. i have not been spending one on one time with Him for selfish reasons. i had not even made the overall connection until just now, but its totally true. and that does not sadden my heart nearly as much as it should.