the Lord works in strange ways. i have been consistently...astounded at the ways He has protected me from...myself and others. an example? right now, my biggest temptation is an ocean away. which marked the third week that something came up so that we could not hang out. some may argue that it was mere coincidence, but i know better: there are people interceding for me, praying for my protection, and i know that their prayers are being heard and answered.

in other news, furman seems less and less feasible every day. i am beginning to wonder about college in general. i found a girl on facebook who is looking for a Christian roommate to stay at a house down the street from redeemer, and the set up thus far seems almost ideal. if furman does not work out, i am strongly considering moving in up there, enrolling in greenville tech, and getting a job in TR. it would save so much money on gas (i drive to and from TR, and then to and from wade hampton blvd. every sunday) and college, and i think it would be good to get out and gain a little bit of Independence. actually, i have been pondering on moving out, working, and saving $$ during the fall so that maybe i could go to l'abri in the spring. i dont know; i am praying about it.

musings on church

i have realized something lately: i love church. i do not know if i have ever truly been able to say that up until this point. i think for a long time that i felt like "loving church" entailed simply waking up on sunday morning and not wanting to go back to sleep. i do not think this is true anymore. i think loving church has a lot more to do with connecting and caring about the people, being challenged by the teachings, and desiring to come along side to help and participate in the vision being strived for. don't get me wrong; sunday is now one of my favorite days of the week, because i know that i can worship corporately in the morning and honestly listen and share in the evenings with these people who are fast becoming my family. the communication is not just on sundays either, which is really cool. i get so excited to see new emails in my inbox from my super cool community group containing things to pray about or talking about our next meetings or sharing parts of our lives with one another. honestly, i did not expect much the first time i visited redeemer; i almost figured that sunday would be no different than any of the others in my 17 years of life. thankfully, i was wrong. though i did not see a single soul that i knew, i still could sense the community this church contained. the 2nd sunday, i knew jenny, but received multiple invitations both to lunches and community groups from other people in the church. this blew me away! i had never encountered this kind of...hospitality (?....i am not sure this is the right word...) anywhere, but especially not a church! as i have begun to visit redeemer more frequently, i have started relationships with people, people who are wonderful and honest and broken. it is so encouraging and astounding to see the Lord working in these people's lives, and in my own. before i started going to redeemer, my counselor ashley told me that she thought i was starving spiritually-i was not getting fed on a constant basis spiritually. but last session, she told me that she has seen a profound change in me and my attitude toward the Lord, and consequently recovery. i just praise God He drew me to Himself and redeemer before it was too late.

thoughts...

"Prudence is an important Christian virtue; it is the ability to wait out decisions until the right course is clear; it is the opposite of impetuosity: the tendency to act quickly and think later. Fundamental to prudence is the ability to consider consequences: the ability to make decisions with the future/end in mind, and not just the dictates of the moment. Wisdom has a strong consequence orientation. We must think practically about what is likely to come of a certain decision: what will be the consequences, both positive and negative? Sacrificing momentary satisfaction for true satisfaction is ‘paying in advance.’ “Would you rise in the world? You must work while others amuse themselves. Are you desirous of a reputation of courage? You must risk your life. Would you become strong morally or physically? You must resist temptation. All this is paying in advance. That is prospective finance. Observe the other side of the picture. The bad things are always paid for afterward"-Winston Churchill

I feel like this quote sums up what God has been teaching me lately. In several situations in my life, decisions are pending, and I am being called to pay in advance. While I am used to thinking briefly ahead, some of these decisions have consequences that I would continue to "pay for" longer than just briefly. Some of these situations include relations with the opposite sex, friendships, and where I am headed to college. I feel seriously out of control in all these situations, so the temptation is to quickly patch things so I do not feel this way, but I am praying the Lord would give me patience, prudence, and peace.