i am on my first date with james b. duke. i have a feeling that this will not be a serious relationship.

speaking of relationships, i am no good at them. the longer i am in them (whether they be romantic or otherwise) i see more effects of the Fall, more recently in my selfishness. i do not want to talk at 11:30 at night when i have a headache and am already in bed. i do not want to spend time calling when i know that i could be spending time sleeping or doing other things. i do not want to put myself out there by being honest. i do not want to put the effort in to communicate. sadly, all those feelings also translate to my relationship with God. i have not been spending one on one time with Him for selfish reasons. i had not even made the overall connection until just now, but its totally true. and that does not sadden my heart nearly as much as it should.

i can tell that we are gonna be friends...

alison, laura (milo), and me.

its thanksgiving break. after a few days with lots of confusing tears, i came to a realization: i think they are good; a definite sign God has answered my prayers and the prayers of those around me. i was not the only one who was worried about me making [positive] friends at college, and several people joined with me in praying about it. the Lord has blessed me immensely by surrounding me with amazing Christians. and while the current separation is not pleasant, its pretty sweet knowing that our bonds aren't dictated by how close we are distance wise, but yet that we are all united together in Christ and are supporting each other through prayer and encouragement while we are apart.

which i think is how the Church is supposed to be. speaking of which, i joined redeemer, the church i have been attending since new year's eve. i have blogged previously about how much i adore the church, and i still feel that way. in fact, as i am now an official member (though i have not been publicly presented) i love it that much more. i got to participate in the baptism of two of the kids sunday, taking the vow with the other members to uphold and support the parents and children involved, and it was an amazing experience. vowing to be in each other's lives, through the good times and the hard times, supporting each other when we are struggling, rejoicing during marriages and births and glimpses of redemption, speaking Truth to each other when the world whispers lies from all directions, and continually striving not to point to ourselves but to Christ.