days go by, i'm hypnotized...

life seems to be moving all too fast; i feel like i am on physical, mental, and emotional overload this week. all of my friends from high school are now at college (with the exception of the one who is Furman-bound, of course.) I will be 18 in 2 1/2 days, legally old enough to vote, get the death penalty, buy tobacco, and order off infomercials. I decided to chill this morning and finally watch The Chronicles of Narnia since I had not gotten a chance to see it. It was good, but I was immensely distracted from the message by a sinking feeling in my stomach anytime Mr. Tumnas was onscreen. His mannerisms, his voice, his character were all eerily reminiscent of someone that I know, one of my biggest lapses of character ever. Just this week I was thinking how thankful I was that he hasn't been around, that I thought I was completely past everything with him...and now this. The temptation to rationalize contact, friendship...maybe more with him is pretty crazy right now, especially knowing that he could be there tonight at swing for my birthday dance. I haven't danced with him in a solid month...it could get the best of me.